Peace in the moment is illusive, but possible.
At the pharmacy
I dropped off my antidepressant-anxiety prescription at the Walmart pharmacy five minutes ago, and the grumpy lady I gave the script to said that they required an hour to fill it. What the hell?
“An hour,” I said.
“Yes, an hour."
Couldn’t she tell that I was on the brink of something ominous and awful? I needed those meds to prevent it.
On the bench
I sit down on this wire bench, directly in front of the pharmacists, to meditate upon the nature of my miserable life. Waiting is an inconvenience that my schedule could not tolerate. I have a blog to write after all.
Life can run you over with a blog, a prescription, a job
Reflection turns into self loathing as I consider the miracle of these pharmaceuticals, which make my existence tolerable. The science and technology that drives them has only become possible over the last few years. I connect with this thought, technology and science making my life better.
In the moment
And, I remember now that I have an iPad with LTE, a virtual office under my fingers as I write this post. This device is slicker than my computer of a few years ago,light, efficient, and usable. Technology and human being merge in this moment.
I resolve now to find joy in the in the present, but I see something in my peripheral vision. I turn around and see the 20' line that formed as I mortared words.
“Peace,” I tell myself. The moment is all. I stand in line.
As the anger dissipates, leaving me relaxed, a lady struts up and plants herself in the front - budging - as if we, the civil people, do not exist.
Losing the moment
Deep breath. I'll just finish writing my post. My arms are growing tired from holding this iPad, but I persist in the moment, writing.
Suddenly my face, like the screen turns blank. My battery is dead. Peace.
Ideas for the present
I am in this with you because I'm obviously not there yet. Any ideas to add to this list that would help me? I would love to learn from your ideas, and welcome your comments.
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